Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Check's in the Mail!

Now that the dust has settled somewhat (or the floodwaters receded), the Jump On America crowd has lost exactly ZERO time in getting on my country's case concerning the recent tsunami disaster in Indonesia and elsewhere.

I thought this one was bullet-proof. How do you pin responsibility for plate tectonics on anyone? Ha. Silly blogger. Tricks are for kids. Somehow, through painfully convoluted logic and utter inability to understand how things work in the real world, grumbly lefties managed to tie the tin can (well, maybe fired clay bowl) of global poverty to the tail of the disaster and send it, barking loudly, America's way. The idea being: America is rich, other countries are frequently poor, the tsunami really hurt, so are Americans ready to give up their SUVs now?

I don't know what the political slant of England's "The Independent" is; I doubt it could beat The Guardian on a BPC (Bolshie Per Column) basis, but they did quote an interesting bunch when musing upon whether or not the tsunami disaster might "be a turning point for the world." I'm only quoting a few here:

RORY BREMNER, Comedian
On an individual level, it is not just about what we are prepared to give, but what we are prepared to give up. Having left Afghanistan and Iraq in their wake, can our leaders be trusted to fight a war on poverty?

I suppose Benny Hill might have had something illuminating to add, too, if he weren't dead.

STEPHEN TINDALE, Executive director, Greenpeace
It seems churlish to say it, but while it's relatively easy for most of us to give £50, it would be much harder for us to make the changes in our modern lifestyles that are needed if we are to move to a fairer world.

Um, fair world or not, Stephen, natural disasters are the left's ultimate fantasy of egalitarial utopianism. Everybody gets to scream and die!

DR GHAYASUDDIN SIDDIQUI, Leader of Muslim Parliament
Compassion, care and concern for mankind joins each of us - whatever our faith or ethnicity. The tragedy has shown there is a formula on which all mankind can be united to help each other. Mankind has moved forward.

And the only smiley face comes from a Muslim. Interesting.


BILL BAILEY, Comedian
It was the same after 11 September. Everyone said it was a great opportunity to try to understand the world but it was used by the US as a reason to go on a rampaging adventure in Afghanistan and Iraq.

"Afghanistan and Iraq - what's up with that? Thanks, you've been a great audience."

DINOS CHAPMAN, Artist
Western capitalism demands that people must be impoverished. I cannot think that anything will change this year, because we are the ones who have made the world the way it is. I don't believe in altruism.

Stupidity on black velvet.

SIR MAX HASTINGS, Journalist and historian
We have to bear in mind that we have been here before. There have been tragedies before, and many fine things have been said, a lot of them by the US. We just have to hope that in this case they will follow through.

World War II come to mind, Max?


J G BALLARD, Novelist
It would be one of the biggest breakthroughs mankind has ever experienced if we pooled our wealth in order to look after the poorer people of the world. Sadly, I don't think it will happen.

All this talk of wealth and poverty, and yet The Independent somehow managed to entirely avoid talking to anyone who might actually know something about such things, such as, say, an economist.

TONY BENN, Former cabinet minister
It may make people realise that the UN needs to be well-equipped and funded. If people diverted money from weapons and war, we have the technology and money to be able to help - if we decide to do that.

Meaning the UN will impose 'sanctions' on the volcano next time and then pocket the dough when no one is looking. "You stay away from those carrots, Bunny Rabbit!"

The check's in the mail, guys. Along with all the necessary rescue equipment, planes, helicopters, boats, personnel, and plans.