Sunday, January 23, 2005

Peace and Prosperity? Try Chicks, Checks, and Cheeseburgers

I don't like CNN. Partly this is because I don't like socialist blowhard/uber-oaf Ted Turner. CNN, like Ted, 'colorizes' what it delivers.

Was Bush inaugurated, or Clinton? Kind of hard to tell from the media coverage. But there's been innumerable comparisons between the two presidencies this month. You know the drill. Guess the Islamonuts haven't been sawing off enough heads lately.

Anyway, Clinton's presidency was fawningly refered to as a 'time of peace and prosperity' - Eden before Halliburton showed up. Funny. I seem to recall it as Scandalpalooza, with more "-gates" firmly affixed than Bill to Windows. Hell, we had Troopergate, Monicagate, Whitewatergate, Pardongate, Lincoln Bedroomgate, Jennifergate, Juanitagate, basically-attach-any-woman's-name-to-gate-gate. We also had Somalia and Haiti, long delayed reaction to the Balkans War (were we dropping bombs or restraining orders?) and the complete lack of action to the massacre in Rwanda. Append to this a series of escalating terrorist attacks, from the first WTC attack in 1993 through the Khobar Towers up to the attack on the USS Cole - to all of which Clinton displayed his customary lack of resolve. Well, wait, he did fire a few cruise missiles at random into Sudan and Iraq when called upon to testify in the Monica Lewinsky trial. And Saddam Hussein chuckled whilst he sipped on a pina colada and penciled in that day's scheduled de-tongueings.

Couple this will Clinton's gross appetite for sleazy sex, bad food, and easy money. Now, I don't like Hillary Clinton, either. But if an outraged Godhilla ever did toss an occasional lamp or ashtray at his coiffured head, well, I can understand.

Years of peace and prosperity? More like Chicks, Checks, and Cheeseburgers.