Monday, April 18, 2005

UN: The REAL Video Game

First of all, this isn't entirely a joke...

I've come across some tepid ideas in the realm of video games, and the U.N. World Food Programme's "Food Force" is right up there with them. Anyway, long story short, an idealized U.N. that actually works and comes to the aid of those in need (before they are all dead) is the star of this show. Sweaty-palmed gamers hoping to jack cars, roll goblins for their +1 shortswords, or bust a cap on some Imperial stormtroopers are advised to look elsewhere.

Despite the fact that the game apparently takes place in the war-torn, fictional country of Sehylan, there is no combat or opportunity to act all unilateral. You drop food from helicopters. And, you set up farming projects. There may be paperwork involved. Does this sound as boring to you as it does me?

I mean, come on. If you're going to do a U.N. game, do it right, because the U.N. is basically Grand Theft Auto without baseball bats (though I'm pretty sure hookers would still be in the game. Or at least child sex workers, right?) But food for refugees? Pfft. There's palaces to build and Swiss bank accounts to pad! Let the US work the kitchen...

Player mission: play the U.N. or "play" the U.N.; either way, it's fun. Play the U.N., and it's up to you to consider possibly thinking about thinking about drafting a draft of a memo in regards the Human Rights Situation in Shlockistan. Or play as the Head Waiter-turned-Generalissmo of Shlockistan and defy U.N. resolution number 11,547. No matter what, there's plenty of opportunities for graft, corruption, nepotism, spite, and "benign" neglect. Just make sure to stick to the US! Expansion packs include: Grand Theft Annan - It's Kojo's Fault, and Sims Rwanda.