Friday, August 26, 2005

Robertson Apologized for Stupid Comment

Well, glory be! Ernie, er I mean Robertson apologized for calling for Chavez's assignation.

"Is it right to call for assassination?" Robertson said. "No, and I apologize for that statement. I spoke in frustration that we should accommodate the man who thinks the U.S. is out to kill him."

Perhaps he should have followed this little bit of advise. When your frustrated, rather than say something freaking stupid, close your eyes, take a deep breath and STFU.

But before issuing his little mea culpa, he tried to dodge the issue with the agility of an intern in Bill Clinton's office.

On Wednesday, he initially denied having called for Chavez to be killed and said The Associated Press had misinterpreted his remarks.

"I didn't say 'assassination." I said our special forces should 'take him out," Robertson said on his show. "Take him out could be a number of things including kidnapping."


So I guess he was suggesting that the CIA take Chavez out for dinner, a movie, or maybe a night of clubbing. Yeah, right. Robertson is about as fruity as some of the moonbats flitting about on the left. I just hope he crawls back into his hole and stays there for a while.

Now, that said, I have a nit to pick with the Com Symps in Venezuela.

"This public call to assassinate a head of state, considered a crime by all modern legislation, is prosecutable by its very nature. That is what the civilized world is expecting of U.S. authorities," the Venezuelan government said on Wednesday.

Maybe in your little, commie, corner of the world. However, in the U.S. we have a right to speak our minds. As small as those might be in this particular case. We cherish the ability of people to speak out on all sorts of issues and it is antithema inprosecuteety to prosicute someone for his statement. So, with all due respect, STFU.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Religious Leader Calls for Assassination of Head of State

That headline sounds like some mullah over in Outrageistan calling for the head of President Bush. However, and unfortunately, it is actually the Reverend Pat Robertson calling for the head of Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez.

"We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability," Robertson said Monday on the Christian Broadcast Network's "The 700 Club."

First off, I agree that Chavez is an enemy of the U.S. He is an avowed communist. He has chosen to ally himself with Cuban dictator Fidal Castro. He has even made anti-American comments.

Since threatening to cut off oil shipments to the United States, which buys 1.5 million barrels a day from Venezuela, Chavez has been traveling the globe looking for new markets and allies to unite against "the imperialist power." He recently signed energy deals with France, India and China, which is searching for new sources of oil to power its industrial expansion. Chavez also has made a series of arms purchases, including one for military helicopters from Russia.

He even, allegedly, supports terrorists including our buddies in al Queda

Last December a high-level Venezuelan military defector gave sworn testimony that terrorist links exist between al Qaida and the Chavez government. The defector, President Chavez's personal pilot, alleges that one operation involved the transfer of close to $1 million in cash to Osama bin Laden.

Even though I think that Hugo Chavez is a clear and present danger to the United States, I do not think it is, or ever would be appropriate for a prominent religious leader, even an American and a Christian, to openly support the murder of a head of state. All Americans and Christians of good conscience should vehemently denounce Robertson for making such a statement.

Yes, we have the first amendment which protects one's freedom of speech. If Robertson were some shlub cracka on the street saying "Yuk, yuk, I tink we aught to keel that there Cha-vez guy." then yes, that would be stupid, but protected. However, Roberston used his status as a televangelest, a religious leader, through his T.V. program The 700 Club to call for the assassination of the leader of a sovereign nation. That is outrageous. If we are going to get all flustered when an Imam or Mullah calls for the death of the president, we must get pissed when when of ours does it.

Separated at Birth?


Sunday, August 21, 2005

Just Another Sign of the Decline of Western Civilization

So, Tommy Lee, formerly a washed up has-been musician who is best known for his "private" video tape, has a new "reality" show on NBC about going to college. And people wonder why no one watches network TV anymore? Dude wouldn't last a week in one of my classes.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Whose Responsibility is it?

I was trying to get a little cracka nourishment this morning, watching CBS's The Early Show. If you are not familiar with the show, it follows the morning non-news, semi-talk show, cookie-cutter format with Com Symp Harry Smith and three of the ditziest women to ever make it to broadcast journalism, Hanna Storm, Julie Chen and Rene Syler.

Anyhow, in between segments on Saint Cindy and doggie liposuction they had a politically charged "human interest" story about, of all things, ATVs.

Now mind you, this cracka doesn't own or drive an ATV, but I found the crux of the argument to be quite ludicrous.

The parents insist the industry needs a wakeup call, reports consumer correspondent Susan Koeppen on The Early Show. Too many kids, they say, are being injured and killed on ATVs. This summer, more than 40 have died while using them.

Ok, putting aside the fact that 40 kids of the entire child population of the U.S. is a fraction of a percent, who's really responsible here? The manufacturer who builds a quality product, provides classes on the responsible use of the product, or the parents who let their kids buzz around at 40 mph on a four wheeled motor cycle? C'mon people, it doesn't take a rocket surgeon to realize that putting a 70 lb kid on 5,000 lbs of screaming motor bike is not a good idea.

Twelve-year-old Alex had been riding an ATV in the woods. When the vehicle tipped, Alex was trapped underneath. The vehicle weighed as much as 5,000 pounds, Keezer says.

Naturally, the only reasonable response to this epidemic of tragedy is to have the federal government step in, right.

In May, the group went to Washington, D.C., to lobby the CPSC and congress for stricter safety standards. They want a federal ban on the sale of adult-size ATVs for use by children younger than 16.

And who is letting the under 16 crowd buy and ride these things? I don't know about you, but when I was twelve I didn't have the money to run out and buy an ATV. What is needed is for these parents to exercise some common sense. "Gee, little Billy can hardly get his legs around that monstrous mass of horse power, maybe he shouldn't go riding it through the woods."

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

What Do Women Want?

Total confusion on the part of the male of the species, evidently...

I...See, it's like this, women...no, what I mean is...nevermind.

If You Fell off of the Face of the Earth, Would Anyone Notice?

That's basically what happened of the past couple of weeks. Fighting islamofascist insurgents isn't easy under the best of conditions. But when your in-laws come for a visit and stay a week, that really makes things tough. Naturally, the liberal cabal that runs the world exploited the fact that I was pre-occupied entertaining. Saint Cindy mystically appeared in Crawford Texas and demanded an audience with the president, more unsubstantiated rumors about Judge Roberts surfaced, and gas prices went through the roof.

Well now this cracka is back on the job, protecting all the little crackas out there from the tyranny of, well, whomever.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

We're Not Allowed To Ask if They Blow Stuff Up

The Guardian - England's "leading advocate of cultural destruction," to paraphrase social critic Theodore Dalrymple, apparently decided that playing fluffer to radical Islam is a position too indignant - and too controversial - even for it. Muslim Dilpazier Aslam, Guardian "trainee journalist," and member of the radical Islamic group Hizb ut-Tahrir (roughly translated, "Burkas and Beheadings For Everyone"), was dismissed from the paper on July 22, 2005.

I know I'm getting a little late to this story - I honestly figured the jerk was going to get to keep his job, so I ignored it for a while. But I guess even the Ingsoc types at The Guardian have their limits - or principles. Aslam wrote a teen-slang-peppered column following the 7/7 London bombings that read like a radical Islamic United Colors of Bombing 'Em advert - more or less excusing the bombers because the current generation of Euro-Muslims 'rocks the boat.' Or bombs the bus, your pick.

The Guardian apparently knew Aslam belonged to Hizb ut-Tahrir, but, well, they have the diversity policy to end all diversity policies. Meaning that if a ficus applies for the job, it'll probably get it. Especially if it rocks the pot, presumably. Though I'd be willing to bet it turns out better print copy than the average Guardian columnist. Not to mention the fact that, if dismissed, it probably won't return later with a grudge and a bandoleer of Semtex strapped to it.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Meanwhile, This Mick's Getting Started Up

Not you, too, Mick!

I guess one of the songs being considered for The Rolling Stones' first new album in eight years is titled "Sweet Neo-con," or "Neo-con," and is the usual ROCK! attack on Bush I've come to expect from anyone who can put three chords and "Yeah, yeah, yeah," together. The Stones' publicist maintains that the song isn't about W, though. Hmm. Seems like that "man of wealth and taste" the Stones once sang about finally found himself a new gig.

Don't think that I've got something against the Stones. I don't. While I personally feel that the last true Stones album was "Undercover" and their last great album was "Tattoo You," I tend to go deaf upon hearing anything more recently produced by them. I mean, Good Lord, they've been at it for forty-plus years. Keith Richards looks as if he might have wandered out of the Oldavai Gorge - Quest For Fire For Smoke.

I just don't think "Neo-Con," is going to be "Sympathy for the Devil," by a long shot. That part - that genius - of the Stones, belongs to the past. And that isn't my politics talking, that's just my instincts. Ten of any of the current crop of anti-war ROCK! songs aren't even worth a line from Creedence Clearwater Revival's catchy (and engagingly defiant) "Fortunate Son". They're dumb, clumsy, and obvious. Iraq isn't Vietnam, current anti-war rock drops bombs, and the Stones don't really Roll anymore.

And As Long As I'm Here...

I would like to apologize for the week-long delay in posting to our three or four readers. Cracka business. Translated, this means Cracka Jack is somewhere in Outer Keratosis battling dread terrorist al-Zamboni while armed with no more than a garbage can lid and a broken bottle of Wild Irish Rose, and I am out buying hamburger buns. Wish me luck.

Guys On One Bus, Gals On The Other

According to Reuters, South Africa, segregated transportation for Muslims is soon to take place in the city of Kano in Nigeria:

Thousands converged on the Pillars soccer stadium to see the vehicles, which include 100 ten-seater minibuses for women only, 100 motorcycle-taxis for men, and 500 three-wheeler microbuses that can carry only men or only women at any given time.

The motorcycles circled the pitch in a jubilant parade as thousands cheered and chanted "God is greater".

"It's a good development for the ease of the transportation problem. It will also reduce social vices," said Umaru Suleiman, who was among the crowd.


Yeah, you go, Umaru. Anyway, Nigeria is that happy-go-lucky country, which, as you may well remember, erupted in violence in 2002 during a hosted Miss World pageant when a commentator made the grave mistake of joking that the contestants were so beautiful that even the Prophet Mohammed might take a wife from among them. As usual, fundamentalist Muslims took this joke about as well as they take anything, Nigeria exploded in riots, people died, and the Miss World contestants absconded for safety in London, England. London being really safe and all these days, you know.

Nigeria is a grab-bag of problems: social, religious, and economic. Somehow, I don't think keeping old Umaru from sneaking a peek at a chick's bare ankle while riding the bus is going to solve much of anything.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

I Would've Hated To Take The Final

Hey, wherever you went to college, at least you didn't have this prof!

WARNING: Potentially offensive language, many uncomfortable classroom moments.