Thursday, December 08, 2005

Mmm, Garbage...

Not so fast, capitalist food-waster! This cracka about choked on his possum reading this at www.timesonline.co.uk.

So, in essence, you, too, can join the proud ranks of scavenging vermin, fermenting bacteria, mold, and other ne'er-do-wells because you're too damned cheap to buy food and too damned arrogant to admit you're basically little more than a bum.

But this part kills me:

Adam Weissman, a freegan activist and sometime security guard in New Jersey, says freeganism grew out of the radical 1960s 'yippie' movement but also has affinities with the hobos of the Great Depression whtraveleded around the country by stealing rides on the railways.

"I have pity for people who have not figured out this lifestyle," he said. "I am able to take long vacations from work, I have all kinds of consumer goods, and I eat a really healthy diet of really wonderful food: white asparagus and cactus fruit, three different kinds of mushrooms and four different kinds of pre-cut salad. And I'm just thinking of what is in my refrigerator right now.

"Essentially, the sky's the limit. We found flat-screen TVs, working boom-boxes and stereos. I have put together most of my wardrobe. Last year's designer clothing in perfect shape is discarded because it's no longer fashionable, so I wear a lot of designer labels."


'Sometime' security guard? 'Long vacations' from work? This sounds more like long, solid blocks of heavy-duty unemployment leavened with intensive bouts of primitive hunter-gathering. Do people really find 'four different kinds of pre-cut salad', etc, amid all that maggot-infested, fermenting rot? And if they do, don't the rats and seagulls have dibs?

And what happens when, in this veritable crapucornia/alternative fashion boutique/heretofore-undisclosed electronics outlet, the occasional authentic and very dead bum turns up ? Do you just pick the really wonderful white asparagus and shittake mushrooms off his bloated face and just think of what's in your refrigerator right now?

Dumpsters are many things; all of them are unpleasant. And they sure as hell aren't your salad bar.

ADDED by Cracka Jack 12-09-05

Back in the day, we called this dumpster diving, discount mall for the cheep-ass bastard. Now I guess you can add grocery store too. I'll be entering Kroger's from the front, thank you very much. However, I won't pass-up a good road kill stew, yummy.